Grandmaster Chen Xiao Xing steps behind me, puts his hands on my hips and lowers me down. My legs light on fire. He keeps lowering me down. I check in to my body. Can I handle this? Lower still. His hands move through the protocol: shoulders, chest, ribs, belly, back. My body considers resisting out of what - doubt? Fear? Master’s hands force nothing but wait, wait for my body to let go of it all. I give way to the centuries old method being transmitted through time to me Standing here now. Sweat pours. I join my place in the earth, along the ancient timeline. He moves on to the next student.

Returning to Chenjiagou after seven years is a very emotional experience for me. I had been coming here since my disciple ceremony in 2006, sometimes twice a year. The family, and especially CXX, became a huge part of my life and evolution as a student and teacher. The last time I was here was August 2019 when we were not to know what was to come just a few months from then. Years past, family health crises took priority. It’s a hard trip - to get here, to train here, and we always joke after each trip that it will be the last time. Then, so it seemed, 2019 actually may have been.

Last year I saw some social media post with my teacher and I knew - I had to come back. I did not want these past seven years to be the end of this story. To my surprise 15 of my students also either did not want it to be the end of theirs or they wanted it to be the beginning. And so after nine months of preparation, long travel days, brutal jet lag, here we are, in the heart of the art, again.

Driving into the Village anew was very powerful for me. Tears flowed, as did laughter. It has changed - the tourism money and efforts of Government and Village alike show lovely cobbled streets, a bustling and vibrant night life, a coffee shop with oat milk lattes among many options. It’s a far cry from the dirt roads, roosters and sheep of years ago. I am happy for all of it. People’s lives are better. I know being a part of and a witness to the evolution of this place has been one of the great joys and fascinations of my life.

It is also deeply moving to once again experience directly what one family and its devotees have done in a short period of time. From the historic root - from this place and its history, to make the lives of people all over the world better through the art of Taijiquan. The hard work, the travel, the consistency. The sweat. From a small rural Village in the 1600’s, in middle of China to now, this vibrant generous place, to all it launches through time and space. I could not be more honored to be a small part of it all and to know so many others who are as well.

My personal fear was that my long absence would have made me invisible to Chen Xiao Xing. That he would pass me by, as a ghost. As I felt my legs burn and my pores push out salty sweat, I knew what a silly fear that was. When the third correction came, the kickstands of the rest of my fears and anxieties had fallen. The time that had passed collapsed into the now and I was simply Standing, here, feeling my teacher’s corrections as I always have. I love this place, my teacher, all the people I have the great good fortune to know. It remains and always will be, my heart.

No results found