Showing Up 2019-2020

“With all this talking, what has been said? ”

— Lao Tzu

When I closed the Moon on Market Street word got out I had retired. I guess I thought that might be an option since I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to do. Frankly I didn’t believe I would actually retire and I doubt anyone else did either. In many ways I felt the Moon was just starting to be at the top of its game, as untethered as we were. Laura, Shiuwen, Nicholas and Doug ran classes around town while I was travelling. Larry moved the students he had cultivated through years of teaching his Saturday morning class at the Moon to another space in Ballard. We all planned for this with a great deal of intention. I needed a sabbatical, but it was important to me people had a place to go and skilled teachers to be with if they wanted to continue. 

Right before the party and somewhat unexpectedly Michele Miller & Heather Coyle, who I had known for years, contacted me to see if I was interested in renting their space at Shift for a couple of my classes. Derryl taught there too, and others; I didn’t seek this studio out in my research because they all had  established Taijiquan and Martial Arts  programs. Instead of protecting their turf however, they all welcomed The Moon, saying it was their dream to have a space so devoted to martial arts and internal practices. 

The space was a great fit. Lovely, with the right aesthetic and overall spirit I had not found in other places.  I thought about what I wanted to teach, knowing I still needed to cut back and heal my deep fatigue. Inevitably I realized it was not the teaching that drained me, it was running a studio. So, I decided, if possible, I wanted to keep most of the classes I had at the Moon on Market Street. 

Michele, Heather and Derryl went out of their way to accommodate our schedule and welcome the Moon. They changed their schedules, built an office for Derryl and I to share, there was room for Doug and Laura to continue their popular classes. And, they charged me a very fair rent. After I got back from my travels I started teaching again in October of 2018.

Students returned, most all the usual suspects, I think happy to have a new home. New folks - who didn’t really know of the Moon and so didn’t think I retired - began to come to our new location. It took some adjustment, Google still sent people to Ballard. It was new to integrate our large group into a shared space, but the kinks got worked out quickly. The D’s came back to Seattle in December. Shift didn’t have time on their schedule, so we all went to Phinney Community center for the workshop. It was a bit strange for all of us, not being at the home we remembered, but once we started training it didn’t matter!  

In 2019 I returned to the Village two times. My trips to the Chen Village are not just for training, not just for my teacher, but for healing too. It may sound counter intuitive, but the rigor of the experience clarifies me. And, to be honest, becoming a teacher was never my goal; I only wanted to be a student. In the Village, with the Ancestors and my teacher, it is always only being a student.

The first trip was in February. Moon Richard, his first visit, and Portland Kathy came too. I’d never been to the Village in February and I’m not sure I’d choose that time to go back – it was cold! We suffered right along with the D’s and our training friends from the U.K. We had our usual fantastic time. One of the unfortunate delays of the pandemic is a hold on a release of a series called The Colours of China. The filming of one of the episodes was in Chenjiagou during that trip and you guessed it, it is to include a bit of our group training. It also includes a bit of yours truly being corrected by CXX! 

Moons Doug, Meg, Lisa Ma, Shiuwen, Matt, our good friend John Howe and I travelled back in August. It was hot! The sound of cicadas was omnipresent, along with our sweat. We trained hard, ate a ton of watermelon (for electrolights), and were melted down into pools by Grandmaster’s corrections. We trained in his private training room because it was the only place in the Village that had a fan. It was a treat to be in that room with such history.

During my February trip, Emilio Alpanseque, writer for Kung Fu Tai Chi Magazine, had asked me to do some research on learning Qinna (joint locks) in Chenjiagou. The article was published during this August trip, which was a fun twist of timing fate. Emilio had to work very hard to recruit me for the piece, as always I prefer to keep a low profile. In the end I acquiesced because Emilio is a very good writer. I also felt showing a 62-year-old woman learning the martial art side of Taijiquan in the traditional way, with the founding family, in one of the most authentic places on the planet to do so, would set a good example. 

2019

As 2020 opened, our school had found its rhythm. New students were becoming regulars, “old” students were going deeper. The D’s, CZQ and Jan had all returned, infusing the Moon with rich training and inspirational juice. The winter session was ticking along just fine, and then the pandemic hit our soils. I had been watching my friends in China deal with the virus since November by frequently logging onto WeChat (Chinese Facebook). The Taijiquan community was online offering video lessons to help with immunity and stress. Everyone wore masks.

In March our floor classes became smaller and we shifted to mixed online and in person. Then on March 22, I no longer felt safe or responsible teaching in person, so I called it 100% online. The next day our Governor put out the Stay at Home order. I didn’t have time to process what was happening on a personal level, I just knew I had to get our classes up online. Clearly we were heading into the unknown in traumatic and terrifying ways with no experience of how to make our way through it. The only thing I knew how to do was keep training and teaching like I always do.

Most all the Moon students converted to our online classes. As well, long ago students returned and other friends from around the country and even across the Atlantic regularly Zoom the Moon. Moon’s Doug, Laura, Nicholas & Scooter got up and running with their own classes and supporting me in our larger mixed level classes. Michelle took over Larry’s group for the time being. Students donated over $3000 to help with new expenses and studio rent and to make sure anyone out of a job could still come to classes. Experiencing how quickly we all, teachers and students adapted and once again dug into our changing circumstances, has been profound. And people continue to learn, continue to improve. 

Early in my training my first teacher said to me, “all you have to do is show up.” I guess I took him seriously! And now, in the midst of the weirdest times of our lives, when it counts more than ever, we are all showing up. In a very real way, this moment is exactly what training prepares us for. Sure, in “normal times” we show up for classes, we suffer our own inadequacies, we laugh, we cringe, we get glimpses and we lose them. We think about quitting. But we do not. And because we keep coming back to the floor, to our practices, we develop a stability, a capacity inside of ourselves to be able to deal with the unexpected. We may not even realize we have it until we are tested. And Covid is testing us. 

I remind myself and our Moon students: this time is our time. It is our time to show up, it is our time to practice staying grounded, flexible and centered. It is our time to breathe in and out, to step left, raise and lower our arms, Topple Mountain Range and Pound the Mortar. It is our time to log on from our kitchens and living rooms and basements and gardens and meet each other as we do every other day, on the training floor. In doing so we will come out of this stronger. We are already more pliant, more flexible. We already have greater heart/mind capacities than we knew were ever possible.  

Embrace The Moon School for Taijiquan and Qigong turns 25 today, May 25th, 2020. As we have for the past 2 months, we will open open our computers, click on Zoom and log in. We will enter from the waiting room and chat before class just as we do in person. Then, we will practice together as we have for the past two months, from our living rooms, gardens, porches and kitchens. We will practice together as we have for the past 25 years.

There are many more stories to tell. And many that can never be told! This story took on a life of its own (at the onset I figure I would just throw up a few photos and call it good!). In another perhaps more valuable iteration, this story would be a series of love letters to all my students and teachers and to all those who have accompanied me personally on this journey. Of course, this would take another 25 years.

For those students, friends and colleagues who have had a chance to read through all of this, I trust you have a better sense of your school’s history and the history of which you are a part. I trust you read it with pride, not for what I have done, but for what we have done together. Please know I hold all of you in my gratitude. And please, each of you, do take a moment to feel how much you have influenced not just my personal life, but the lives of so, so many people.  If this Covid time we are in teaches us nothing else, it teaches us we are all deeply connected. We do not do this life alone. And yet, I only say words you already know.

Respect, Salute, 10,000 Thank You’s. 

Kimberly Ivy, Founder Embrace the Moon Taijiquan and Qigong
Est. 1995

No Mud, No Lotus, 2016-2017

In 2016 the world was to change in ways we could not predict. The day after the election people came to classes, but no one could talk. Eyes were red and swollen, bodies exhausted and dehydrated. I simply put a white sign on the wall that said, “May Peace Prevail on Earth.” I taught in silence that day, we all breathed in and breathed out our shock and grief.  The rage hit a few days later; everyone wanted to talk. I had to shut it down fast and we all agreed to commit our dojo as a safe space; no political conversation allowed. Instead we continued to use our practices to move our energy to keep flowing and simply share breath, sweat and time together. 

We were very bonded then.  The year had been a good year with stability and strong training. Another group of Moons travelled to the Village. Nicholas, Nikkie, Linda, and Greg travelled there for the first time. It was Nina’s second; Laura, Mary’s and Doug’s third. Gary & Kathy from Portland joined as did and Betty Dong & Robert Singer from AZ. I decided to make a go of the leadership role myself, which worked out just fine. We were all so comfortable together by then.

As always, the training was excellent even with the stifling heat. We trained with several of CXX’s Chinese students and had a great time on the floor with them. We did dodge the black flies that year though because we stayed in CZQ’s dorm down the road, where my Taijiquan sister Svetlana from Yakut, Russia was also staying and we enjoyed getting to know each other. The Village had changed a great deal by then but not all of it was bad. We had a lot of fun shopping in the new stores along the main street and prowling around the enhanced “Village Experience.” 

You can read more about the 2016 China trip here 

And so, as we approached the end of the year, we had a true dojo, a place to train and a refuge of community. It had been over two decades in the making. Unfortunately, we also had a very bad neighbor. Our landlord had unwittingly rented the other side of our duplexed building to a studio who taught classes with blaring music and microphones used to shout out cues. There was no soundproofing between the shared wall. We tried to reach a compromise with the studio owner, but it was not possible. We both felt entitled to our decibel preferences and the gulf between us was too wide.  

The landlord did his best to fix the situation. Legally our studio was in the right, but the other owner had invested a great deal of money in her studio. She had every intention and the financial resources to fight the legal action the landlord and I were considering taking. Actually, I have to say, she was truly nasty. The landlord put in sound proofing for me as a last-ditch attempt to remedy his error.  Before he did, we all wrote sentiments on the shared wall, another way I suppose of dealing with our combined political grief and the trauma of feeling invaded by these new stubborn neighbors. David & Davidine gave a strong seminar that year’s end and added to the wall the famous axiom, “Learn Diligently, Train Bitterly.” It was to be their last seminar at the Moon on Market Street. 

When 2017 rolled in, the beginning of the end loomed into view. The sound proofing didn’t work well; while probably worse for the teachers than for the students, every class was stressful. Our rent was due to rise again; a new lease was on the horizon with even greater increases. Seattle itself was becoming such an expensive crowded city that many of my students just could not make it across town to classes. Some of the students who were infused into the bedrock of our school decided it was time to move out of the area. Several of my long-time students died. Our foundation was shifting, and it was increasingly difficult to bring new students in because everyone was just so busy trying to keep up with Seattle. And that sound was a big issue. I was beginning to feel like the frog in the boiling pot of water. 

I spent several months in 2017 looking at options and finally decided I likely needed to let the Moon on Market Street go.  I was beginning to sort out what that meant when my mother was unexpectedly diagnosed with lung cancer. I left the school in my students’ and teachers’ hands and flew off to Colorado to be with her. She died six weeks later. I will always be deeply grateful for my students, who handled everything so well under such extreme circumstances. It allowed me sacred time when I did not have to think about a thing and only be with my mother. 

When I returned I needed to proceed with an exit strategy. It was a difficult time for me and probably for the students too, but also a relief to finally make that decision. I knew if I continued down this road, my health would suffer. For me, I had seen this situation now over so many years, people coming to classes to restore themselves after running their bodies and their minds into the ground. I knew that was me now. I had to take care of myself before I got into the type of trouble that would be hard to get out of. I do believe my students understood, they saw it coming.

I stopped taking new students because I could not predict what was to be and I did not feel it was fair to recruit for new students. I offered a “lease end” rate and dug in with the crew at hand. A few newbies did make their way in, even though I warned them the future was ambiguous. They seemed undeterred and actually remain at the Moon to this day. It was a spectacular year of training. We were all sharply focused and committed to seeing this transition process through. Everyone stepped up not just in their training, but also in their support for the unknown. 

An unexpected bright spot for emerged for our Luohan program. After years of searching for a new teacher or group for us, a connection I had been cultivating for several years clicked. I had been emailing off and on with Luis Pedreros, who lived in Santiago Chile. One of his students had contacted me via Facebook for some help getting in touch with CZQ. They knew my relationship with the family because of all my posts. Ricardo said, “I see you all train Luohan! We do too, come down sometime.” Ricardo put me in touch with Luis.

Luis had long standing connections with the Chen Family. He, along with a man named Howard Choy had helped CXW immigrate to Australia in the 80’s. As fate would have it, Luis also played a significant role in the life of a man named Chan Yong Fa, the lineage holder and fifth generation direct descendent of Chan Heung, the founder of Choy Li Fut Kung Fu. CYF also immigrated from China to Australia at approximately the same time as CXW with Luis’s (and Howard Choy’s) help.

The Luohan Qigong is the inner Qigong system of Choy Li Fut. It had been kept close to the family for centuries until CYF decided to open it. Luis therefore had been studying this system, along with Chen Taijiquan, since the very early years of these lineage holders coming out of China. Gaspar Garcia had also studied many years with Chan Yong Fa, being instrumental in propagating the system in Europe. The connection was perfect.

After several attempts to organize a workshop with everyone’s busy schedules, the time had come. Senior Qigong students Laura, Larry, Lisa, Nina and I got on a plane December 31, 2017 and landed in Santiago Chile in 2018. Luis worked with us privately for many hours and we had a workshop. The training was exactly what I thought it would be: generous and compelling. We also met Raul & Marcel Toutin, who have the largest Choy Li Fut South America and similarly studied with CYF for decades. Raul taught Laura, Nina and I the Luohan Pole.

We had a marvelous ten days there and were treated like family, not only enjoying strong training, but plenty of BBQ and even a Pisco Sour (or three)!  Luis remains very busy, but this meeting has allowed new relationships with the Luohan lineage to seed with the current top lineage teachers, Sifu Lane Louie in Australia and his top student Sifu German Bermuda in Argentina. We look forward to further study with them after the world opens again. 

2015

Three years had passed since we received the call when in early 2015 we heard the familiar, “Hallo? This is Chen Xiao Wang.” Grandmaster was planning on returning to the US in October. To be honest I think we all stopped breathing for a moment or three when we realized what was going to happen. In the years since we saw him Grandmaster’s popularity had grown exponentially and because he had not been in the US for so long we knew what that meant as hosts: we would be inundated with seminar attendees. We were used to a more relaxed pace with CXX and even though his workshops had themselves become quite large, the feeling of them was more relaxed

We let the idea of Grandmaster’s return simmer while we continued our normal Moon routine. Along with our regular classes we had our annual hosting of CXX in March, (a great 6 days Xinjia training with Betty Dong & Brian Springmeyer in the House). CZQ would return in October (just three weeks before CXW) and…. we were going to Slovenia! Moons Laura, Mary, Scooter, Bob, Joyce, Christy & Cat got onto a plane, this time heading East to the first International Advanced Training Camp with CXX.

Slovenia is a stunning landscape. Because it took a bit of doing to get there, we all went a few days early and had some time for site-seeing. I could write a whole blog about the beauty of this region and the graciousness of its people, but this time is not for those words. These words need to tell what a great six days of training it was. Along with the Xinjia sessions with CXX, CZQ taught Tui Shou (and his famous warm-ups).  The younger brother, Chen ZiJun, was also there. It was his first trip out of China.

Along with the Moons, Allison & Bill brought several students. The D’s had quite a group too: their UK students along with their Slovenian students and Oystein from the Netherlands (who worked very hard to train us in how to say his name!) Ben Milton was there and Jan was also there for a couple of days.. The seminar was in an Olympic Training center in Planica, a stunning mountain town. Along with the beauty and the strong training, there was a lot of comradery – and a talent show! Scooter put his Carnegie Mellon University degree to good work for just this chance.  Under his charge the Moons represented quite nicely. You really need to see it for yourself: Moons Talent Show in Slovenia.

For more reading on the Slovenia Trip click here.

Later that year it was time for Grandmaster’s arrival. Over 80 people were registered from all over the country and Canada, including our good friends Earl, Joe Rea and their posse of Tennessee Boys. The Moon on Market Street only had one toilet and we had years of experience of how that went during the large seminars! So, we rented a Port-a-Potty and set in up in the back alley behind the dojo.  Because I know you are all wondering, that Potty stayed spotless! 

All the Moon students pitched in. By arrival day the dojo was spotless. The screens were down to make more space, the green tatami mats were perfectly stacked to make a stage. Guests were comfortably situated in their Air BnB’s. Laura, Nicholas, Doug and others were well organized with excel spreadsheets for check-in and money. They were pros by this point, having for years seamlessly checked people in to our myriad workshops and backed me up on the record keeping. Shoes were organized, questions were answered. Shiuwen even had my special tea set up for me. Derryl’s students too were all polished in their roles. Fruit and water were always available, the floor swept between each session to keep it dry and carpets vacuumed at night. Derryl had arranged a banquet at a local Chinese restaurant. Everyone had a task they gladly accepted; we were a perfect seminar organizing machine. It was just left for me to host the Grandmaster in my home. 

Perhaps you are waiting for me to say it was disaster or that something went wrong. I know I was! But, It was flawless. And, honestly, it was nice to spend time with Chen Xiao Wang again. He is a very gracious person to host. The routine is always the same: Derryl picks him up from the airport, brings him to my & Kevin’s home. Then CXW, Derryl and I go to Uwajimaya together to shop for food for the week. Chen Xiao Wang buys and cooks everything. That’s right, each meal. Those meals are simple, but nourishing. No meat, but lots of noodles, buns, mochi balls and sweet potatoes. Lots of sweet potatoes. And of course he always Stands while it simmers. We sit at the table and talk; he tells us stories and occasionally sings a poem. He retires early and watches the Animal Planet before making a few phone calls and turning in. 

The seminar was also seamless. As always, Derryl and I as his disciples were right up front with him, receiving the most minute and detailed of corrections. I remember we used to be so nervous but now we were comfortable in our roles. GMCXW is a generous teacher, anyone who wanted, received plenty of corrections, in the classic Chen Xiao Wang style. Hold posture. And keep holding. Soup, spaghetti, pizza. And the demos…oh my the demos. Our curriculum for the weekend was Standing, Silk Reeling and Laojia Yilu. There was no reason at that point to do anything else with him. CXW is the Standard Bearer, so the most advanced work you can do with the Grandmaster is to return to the basics. 

This workshop was another legendary workshop at the Moon. And though I do not see Grandmaster frequently anymore, I will always be indebted to him and profoundly grateful. Without him the training I have had would be different training, how I teach would be a different style, these stories I tell now would be different stories. The people I know, who have profoundly impacted my life, would be different people. And our school would be an entirely different school. 

Commitment, 2013

In 2013 I signed another 5-year lease for our school on Market Street. I thought hard about it; the first five years the rent + triple net was $2500-$3300/mo over the term. The second was $3300-$4200; and now the third five was to put me well into the $5000/mo by the end of the term. This did not include utilities, business taxes, marketing, or any of the other costs of doing business. Oh, did I mention salary? No, it didn’t include that either! Still, the Moon was definitely a thing by this point and I just didn’t see any option. Rather, I didn’t want to see one. 

Our level was really improving. By this point we had 150 students and several teachers with their own classes: Joyce, Doug, Laura, Larry and Nina were teaching a little and subbing for me and though they may not have seen it at the time, they were beginning to develop their own fan base. I still rode them pretty hard during those early days of their teaching, but secretly I could not have been prouder of what I saw happening. We continued to have master workshops and trainings with our grand teachers and local experts in their fields, but more essentially, we all trained hard on a daily basis; steaming up the windows nightly and wiping up condensation that dripped down from the pipes onto the floor. Our school was robust. We rocked the floor. So, when it came time to sign the next lease we cleaned, repainted and dug in for another five. 

Our Disciple Posse met a few times during the year, notably in Chicago for CXX’s 60th birthday, but the highlight of 2013 travel was another trip back to the Village, this time with my BFF, Allison Helm. After a day in Beijing highlighted by an afternoon in the famous 798 Art District, we joined the D’s and their group for the 10 day with CXX. Allison and I suffered jet lag, bad plumbing, physical exhaustion, black flies and mind-blowing training of that trip with gusto. We cherished the training and new friends and unforgettable friendship moments. To this day we talk about our photography walk through the now long demolished Hutongs behind the Ditch, the tall corn totems in front of the houses and drying beans and peanuts set out on the street. I dare say however our BFF claim to fame may be that I convinced Allison to eat Donkey and she loved it! 

This was also the first year that CXX & CZQ opened up their main school to create branch schools outside of China. Along with the D’s, Allison and I were fortunate to represent our schools. Other US inductees included Allison’s husband Bill Helm, Betty Dong, AZ, Andy Loria, Chicago, and Stephan Berwick, D.C.  The Chenjiagou main school has grown its branch schools throughout the world since then, but unlike the explosion of disciples worldwide, the numbers of these schools remain in check. They are not financial endeavors for the Chen Family; they are based on longevity and commitment. CXX and CZQ continue to work very hard to assure the quality of Chen Family Taijiquan remains solid. Along with our commitment to the Moon on Market Street, our relationship with the Family and Chen Taijiquan was to continue to deepen over the next several years. For further reading about this trip, click here.

2013 was to be Chen Bing’s last year in Seattle due to his increasingly busy schedule, but also the Moon had clarified our commitment to the school of CXX and CZQ. This, in combination with Gaspar’s departure and CXW’s busy schedule, gave our school a little breather for hosting. We had been hosting 6x a year, this along with running a teacher training program was frankly becoming exhausting. Backing out of that a bit also gave me more space to answer my student’s call to get more of them to China! Despite tails of black flies, pulverized thighs and Donkey, the buzz about these trips within the school was just too much for students to resist. We had all fallen in love with CXX by now, too, so going to China was not just training, it was visiting family at their home.  Doug, Laura, Susan, Meg, Mary, Phyllis, Rich and our friend from Portland, Kathy got on a plane in early September and made the two-day trip to the Village. For all but Doug it was their first trip.  I had hired Davidine to translate for us so David and a few of their students were there as well. 

There is nothing like training with CXX in his home. He loves the Village and it shows in how he inhabits the place. Riding then his bicycle (now his electric scooter), mediating disputes between Villagers, walking out for buns in his slippers, laughing at us bumping around the streets of the Gou, making friends with the locals. CXX does not just live in the Village, he is the Village. Being there as his student gives one a bit of street cred too. The training was, as always, brutal in just the way we like it at home, but training in the Village is unique. It is said once you drink the water of Chenjiagou, your legs shake, and you must always return. (Of course we do not drink the water!) 

Yes, the training was spectacular; unfortunately, the weather was not. I do warn my newbies to be prepared for anything, actually I try to scare them out of going; clearly it just eggs them on. But, I digress. To my point: it rained. Or perhaps better stated: it rained torrentially nine out of ten days of the trip.  There is no drainage system in place, the streets were flowing. At that time the quad was dirt and we had to walk across it to get to class. Our shoes sunk into muddy potholes, slurping up with every step. The black flies of early September were especially voracious; Standing with them landing on our bodies for 30 minutes 2x a day gave the term disciple a whole new meaning. None of us had the correct footwear except Susan, the Oceanographer, so we covered our shoes with Ziplock bags and held them on our ankles with rubber bands.

And yet, CXX remained undeterred. The training was as rich and deep as ever. In fact, the rains that year gave us a chance, much like this Covid time now gives us a chance, to cocoon in, to shave off even more distractions and singularly concentrate on the moment at hand.  

Click here for further reading about that trip.

There are two things I’ve never regretted spending money on: travel & training. And frankly, the two combined are one of the reasons I love the martial arts, there are always interesting places to go and fascinating people to meet. 2014 was also the year I travelled to Chicago to teach at the NWMAF, National Women’s Martial Arts Federation, and Pennsylvania to teach at the National Qigong Association’s Conference. I met many amazing people along the way who remain friends and colleagues to this day. 

Induction into Chenjiagou Xue Xiao, 2013 Trip, NWMAF, 2014 trip, (check the rain out bottom right), foggy windows, cleaning the dojo old school

Hall of Fame, 2012

Zosia Gorbaty had to work very hard to convince me to apply to the first Association of Women Martial Arts Instructor’s (AWMAI) Hall of Fame. Zosia was the  Executive Director of AWMAI at that time and she and Certification Director Janice Okamoto decided it was high time to create the Hall of Fame as a vehicle to recognize leadership and accomplishment within the world of women martial arts instructors. Due to my own travel & hosting schedule I had not become involved with any organization really and honestly, I was more comfortable staying under the recognition radar. But for those of you who know Zosia, she is a force of nature and I was soon to learn resistance was futile! 

I got to work collecting photos, certifications and letters of recommendations for my application. It was really the first reflective moment I had taken in then 32 years of training and seeing all of it laid out made my eyes spin a bit. The hardest ask for me were the letters of recommendation. I was truly uncomfortable to ask anyone to speak of how they know me and describe the value I may have brought to my field. I asked Gunther Weil, Bill Helm and Andy Dale, all people and practitioners I respected a great deal and who had strongly supported me along my way. They wrote truly beautiful letters for me. I also submitted the required class proposal and was accepted.  

The 2012 conference and award ceremony was transformational for me. Never before had I been with so many accomplished women in one setting. Never before had I been celebrated as one myself. We all bonded deeply that weekend, taking each other’s classes which ranged from Jujitsu to Karate to Qigong. Each class was taught by an award recipient of 30+ - 60+ years in the Martial Arts. A highlight for all of us was Bernice Jay, with over 60 years of experience training and teaching Jujitsu, Judo & Seifukujutsu. Sensei Bernice though had another skill set: Lomi Lomi massage. I gratefully submitted my shoulders for her to work on, but don’t get the idea it was anything relaxing! Old School all the way. It was also our honor to meet Sensei Teru Hendry, 86 years old at that time. Sensei Teru was born into a Samurai family and started training when she was 12, stopping only for WWII.

I met and am still in contact with many amazing women from that weekend and I remain good friends with Zosia to this day.  AWMAI Hall of Fame awards continue and when covid clears up I’m going for my 40+. Other female organizations of note are PAWMA and NWMAF and along with AWMAI, offer women a chance to fully inhabit and be acknowledged for their power and grace in ways that can be difficult within the patriarchal hierarchy of the martial arts. 

The Moon continued to host the usual suspects that year, though I believe this was the first year CXW did not come due to his increasingly busy schedule. CXX’s workshops were growing however and Village Training had taken root at the Moon. 2012 was also the year where the British were coming! David Gaffney & Davidine Sim began traveling to San Diego and Seattle then and have truly become fan favorites ever since. I cannot impress upon you readers how their teaching and breadth and depth of understanding has expanded all of our knowledge of Chen Family Taijiquan though the years. Additionally, they are a joy to host. They love to travel and see new landscapes and we have all made several trips with them showing off what is best about America. They continue to teach us and we know we all look forward to their workshops and visits as soon as it possible to arrange them. 

2012 was also a painful year. Gaspar Garcia, in the second year of another teacher training ran into some personal difficulties.  It was actually the last time we were to see him. We had made big plans for the Luohan in the United States and this program was its launch. It was not to be at least not in the way we envisioned it. I gave the trainees the option to get a refund on their program fee or continue with me as its director. They all chose to stay. 

I then contracted several highly skilled professionals to join the program as instructors: Joe DeShaw (Anatomy), Jackie Close & David Tucker (Chinese Medicine) Harrison Moretz (Taoist Philosophy) and Saiko Shima (Yoga). Each of these professionals went out of their way for me and for the students. Additionally, the students were required to attend an element of the visiting Taijiquan Grandmaster’s workshops. It was an ambitious, strict endeavor, but I knew what my students were headed into if they were to teach. The field had grown since my early days and the expectations were higher. So were mine. I knew where the holes in the field were and I didn’t want my students to step into any of them if I could help it.  I suppose, too, given the circumstances I found myself in as the program’s default director, I had something to prove as well. 

The exam was legendary. It included a written test - a 250 question and essay format, a project/paper on a topic of their choosing, a demonstration of teaching and performance skill in the Hands of the 18 Luohan, all of its associated breathing and walking patterns, The Muscle Tendon Changing Bone Marrow Washing and an oral exam. They also were required to hand write 12 thank you notes to people who had helped them grow. This tradition was started by my first teacher. After we tested for Black Belt we had to write a thank you note to every single person that helped us achieve our rank. It took weeks. It is a marvelous tradition.

The experience has most assuredly gone down in Moon lore. The examining board consisted of Certified Luohan Instructors Joyce Broderson and Brian Hata, Certified Soaring Crane (et.al) Instructor Andrew Walker, senior student Kathleen O’hanlon, and new student (at that time) Russel Regan, and myself. It was December, 2012. The examination began at 5:45 pm and lasted until 12:40 am the next morning. It was grueling. Everyone passed some portion of the exam, but a few did need to re-take some of it the next year. After this experience I understood better why, years earlier, Gaspar did not pass everyone. To this day I remain, like my teachers before me, a very hard teacher to please when it comes to passing and certifying students to teach. Therefore, I am very proud of those who cross that threshold in both Taijiquan and Qigong and have the greatest confidence in them to pass on the traditions with integrity. 

Pivot, 2011

Writing this history is revealing great stories and also very specific pivot points upon which my life turned. While my day to day ticked along, specific moments along the way shifted or completely altered the direction I myself took, and therefore the direction I developed and guided my school. The nurse at Macrina Bakery, Dr. Taylor, Gao Fu, The Moving Space, Gaspar Garcia, Chen Xiao Wang, The Moon on Market Street….at the time I don’t think I looked at these moments in this way; I just took the turns as they came. At the same time, it is clear following my chosen path has given me more than physical health and skill, it also taught me to observe, to feel and act courageously when the time is right, even if the outcome may not be apparent until many years later. 

2011 was another pivot year for me, catapulting me back to China. Chen Xiao Wang had called us all back to the Village in March to take another Duan Wei test. This was to be several of our 6th Duan’s, and if passed, would be last test we would ever have to take. Chen Xiao Wang told us all if we wanted to do it, now was the time because everything was going to change after this. Indeed, the head of the International Wu Shu Association was retiring and the method for testing and grading was to change dramatically. Of course, we all got on a plane and headed back to the Village. 

This testing experience was stressful but not as overwhelmingly so as in Luhačovice. We did not have to take a long-written exam as we did before, we instead were required to craft an essay about our experience of training and why we considered it of value to our life. I’m actually not sure who translated those essays, or if they ever were, but I remember enjoying writing it and having plenty to say. Betty Dong, Allison & I performed together. The testing board was CXW, CXX, the Head of the WuShu Organization, Davidine and Jan. As with Luhačovice, we performed a few minutes each of empty hand and a weapon. Ranks were awarded later that day from 3-6thand we all matriculated to our 6th, relieved this was it.

A seminar followed and another disciple ceremony. As always, these events were packed, more this year than ever. It was again so much fun to connect with our pals from all over the world and to feel our family grow. Moonites Doug and Kevin joined this training as well as did several of Allison & Bill and Derryl’s students. After the event Kevin, Doug and I joined Allison & Bill’s group to Xi’an. We saw the Terra Cotta Warriors, trained by the Old Wall, visited the first Mosque in China and ate delicious spicy food in the Muslim district. To this day, Xi’an remains one of my favorite cities anywhere in the world. Doug, Kevin and I continued back to Beijing where I showed them around my favorite spots. 

The pivot point I refer to above came mid-way through this trip. During the March training I realized I was completely overwhelmed with the number of people and while as much fun it was to be with all the international friends, it was becoming less and less easy to actually learn Taijiquan within this setting. For me, there were just too many people.  I remember feeling lost and ungrounded by it all when I saw David Gaffney and Davidine Sim walking down the sidewalk in the quad. They were so relaxed and calm; there was something about their continence that compelled me. Whereas I didn’t know what it was, I knew instinctively this was what I was looking for from my training. We chatted a bit and they told me they were having a few days training with CXX in his private quarters. A few months later, in October, I returned to the Village for a 10-day training with CXX, organized and led by “The D’s.”

I had hosted CXX 5 years already in Seattle, but frankly I never quite “got” him. Even though I had decades of hard, traditional training under my belt, The “old school” training CXX embodied alluded me. This seminar though, the jigsaw puzzle began to fall into place. 

CXX guided all of us, hands on the entire way, through the entire Laojia Yilu. In one continuous sequence after sequence he kept our structure true, glided our center of gravity across the training floor and compelled our bodies through the rotations in such a way that the overall connections were at once obvious and accessible. I felt light yet powerful, grounded yet fluid. Mind and no mind. I knew at the moment of the first sequence this is what I was looking for. I knew CXX would take me further into Taijiquan and teach me how to find Taijiquan for myself. The next year, when CXX came to Seattle, I knew exactly what to do with him. The Seattle six-day “Village Training” was borne. 

This small and intimate training restored my ground. It was also October in Chenjiagou, the most beautiful time to visit China. Around the Village Corn Totems dried in the sun, harvested beans and peanuts laid out on the streets of the Village, also to dry. Dappled sun illuminated The Ditch. I adored the close students of David & Davidine who were also there and who batted me around like a mouse with their British English & humor! They remain my training brothers & sisters to this day…despite the fact we have a hard time understanding each other’s English!

David and Davidine themselves also had a profound influence on me during this training. I glued myself to them throughout the workshop, mirroring them, stealing whatever I could from them. Their combined skill, their history within the Family and Davidine’s high level of generous translation opened a door wide for me this trip, and in doing so also for my students, into the both Chen Family Taijiquan and the Chen Family itself. 

The Moon continued rocking the floor with robust classes and continued workshops with Gaspar, CXW, CXX, CB. This year was also Chen Zi Qiang’s first visit to Seattle.

 A blog from that 2011 training. 

From upper left: The Training with CXX & the D’s, Duan Wei Testing, Corn Totems, The International seminar, Doug, Kevin & Kim at the Great Wall, Biking in Chenjiagou, Xi’an with Bill & Allison’s group, Writing the essay with Betty Dong, CZQ’s first Seattle visit.

Moons in China, 2010

One of my last Facebook posts of 2009 is, “The Visas for China Arrived!” In 2010 I was to finally return to China. I had unfortunately had to cancel an earlier planned trip due to my joints and had not been back since the disciple ceremony four years prior. By now my joints and my immune system, while not fully recovered, were well enough for this level of travel. In fact, I was taking my students with me! In March of 2010, nine Moonites and I embarked upon a three-week adventure to the Middle Kingdom. 

But before we travelled to China in March, we hosted Jan Silberstorff for the first time during a wet and grey Seattle January weekend. I had met Jan off and on over the years and attended a seminar in San Diego with him a couple years prior. I felt an instant affinity for Jan, not only for his deep knowledge of the Chen System (remember Jan was the first westerner to become CXW’s disciple, living with CXW for several years – but those are his stories to tell!); I also felt an affinity for his depth of knowledge of the Tao Te Ching, meditation and woven spiritual history of Christianity, Buddhism and Taoism within the martial arts training. Jan has a unique and well-honed embodiment of the combined martial, historical and spiritual with our lineage and over these past ten years he has brought a welcomed depth to our school’s training. Jan remains one of my teachers and has become a good friend too. (In fact, stay tuned later this spring for information on a program Jan will be offering in 2021).

Its March and off to China with the Moons. I suppose none of us thought we would return – not to China but to the US! We all had huge suitcases of way too much stuff. I wish I didn’t have to remember how embarrassing it was to hoist and schlep those monsters on tiny buses, trains and cars, but remember I do. To our defense, we did have to prepare for the conditions for two weeks in the Village at that time – when the food was… well, when the toilets were… well, when the sanitation was….well…. Never mind! 

We had an remarkable time. The crux of the trip was two weeks of training in Chenjiagou, one with Chen Xiao Wang and one with Chen Bing. The first week with Chen Xiao Wang was a large international seminar and disciple ceremony, this time with an even larger group and media crammed into the temple. It was special for me to have my students get a glimpse into what I had experienced 4 years prior. We saw lots of our training pals, Bill & Allison Helm, Ben Milton, Khiang Seow and more. It was March and a bit chilly still, but much of the training was outdoors on the big concrete area in front of the school. I remember our large group stomping and punching our way through the Laojia Erlu while villagers and other students lined the side channels practicing Silk Reeling, empty hand forms and weapons.

The second week was with Chen Bing at his school. The construction and growth of the Village as it is today had not yet begun, but CB was the first one to have Wifi! Because of it 2010 is the year I began to blog my experience, a practice that sustains to this day. Every morning I woke early to bababa’s below my window as the sheep herder shepherded his flocks down the road and through the Ditch. I wrote and then joined the others for calisthenics and Standing on the large dirt training field. We trained Sword, Broadsword and Tui Shou with Chen Bing on the field and the platforms in the famous Ditch as it was then, which was right behind his school. 

My best memory of that time with Chen Bing was all of us walking with him through town during Market Day to a seller of trees. He bought a couple dozen young saplings. We carried them back through town, CB like the Pied Piper leading us through all the Village eyes agape. That afternoon we helped plant all those trees for what was to become shade his training area. Every year back to CJG I would visit those trees until one year they were gone, in service of the future development of the Village. 

Before during and after our training we travelled around the region. We visited Kaifeng, the Yellow River, the beautiful Longmen Grotto and of course many of the must-see sites in Beijing including the Temple of Heaven, The Forbidden City, Beihai Park and of course the Great Wall.  We also visited the Shaolin Temple where we had a lesson in the Ba Duan Jin Qigong with the monks there. I know for sure they didn’t expect much from us because the class began with one of their kids as our teacher. We trained so hard however, running laps around the room, performing push-ups and sit-ups and standing in deep horse stances that the elder monks came out to watch. Finally, one of the senior teachers took over and gave us quite a tough lesson!

The rest of the year brought continued stabilization and depth to the Moon. Having the group go to China was a real boost to the school. Their enthusiasm and growth from the experience spilled over into the classes and was a shot in the arm to the overall level of skill and commitment. So, 2010 had the tremendous influences of Jan, CXW, CXX, CB and Gaspar. 2010 with Gaspar was particularly legendary: a six-day intensive in the Siu Luohan, the second set in the system. It is said when done at a clip, the Siu Luohan takes two hours. What has not been said yet is Gaspar followed European training time. We trained in the morning, took a long Siesta mid-day and then trained into the night. It’s a good method, but we were not used to it. Though exhausting it was deeply enriching. I think the only person that worked harder than we did was Gaspar. To this day he remains one of my most profound teachers. 

George, 2009

Scrolling back through my Facebook Timeline I see I started posting much more in 2009. These posts frequently refer to “burning thighs,” “evil training methods,” “awesome sessions” and “we rocked the floor.” There begins to be more pictures of sweaty workshops, students training hard, fogged up dojo windows and the pipe that abutted the ceiling and west wall dripping condensation down onto that amazing floor. Clearly, we are all finding our groove in 2009. 

I’ve written a lot about my teachers so far, but there is a whole other love letter that needs to be written about my students. All students suffer their teacher’s shortcomings and it was no different for me. Still we students stay, and many people I knew then are still staying to this day. Despite my shortcomings, still they learn, still they forgive, and still they teach me not just how to learn and how to teach, but how to be a better person. One post from 2009 struck me, “As Dogen lay dying his students hungered for one last lesson, "great Teacher," they asked, "please tell us, how did you achieve enlightenment in your lifetime?" To their eager queries, Dogen replied, "One mistake after another." I think perhaps a teacher cannot become a real teacher without many such mistakes and much forgiveness of her students. 

Being a martial artist over decades affords one a precious and unique glimpse into mistakes and forgiveness, but also into what that all looks like over time. This story is the story of 25 years of my Tai Chi & Qigong school, but it is not the story of how I got started in the martial arts in the first place, 42 years ago. For now, suffice to say I was at a personal threshold and had a hard choice to make about my life going forward. I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to go forward, to be frank. The martial arts saved my life not just because it gave me an anchor in untethered times, but because all my teachers were much older than me when I began. I could start to see what being a martial artist, a person of self-cultivation, looked like over time. I could see who I might become if I stayed the course. 

For many of my early years teaching, most of my students were older than me, some by many decades. Like I studied my teachers for clues on how to life a long and robust life, I also studied my older students (and still do) to see how they lived their life, to see who they are that they might come to the Moon’s floor as a part of their intentional living. In many ways it has not just been the day in day out training in the martial arts that has both saved and enriched my life, it has been my teachers and my students too. The people they created themselves to be.

A man named George was a Moon student for many years. No one who met George will ever forget him. He came to the school in his 80’s, but looked 60. He was very fit and very skilled. He started Aikido in his 50’s and stayed with it until wet macular degeneration forced him off the mat and onto the Moon’s floor. During his five year tenure he took most all the classes & workshops, training hard with Gaspar, Chen Xiao Wang and Andy Dale. He created a cane form for himself for the inevitability of his blindness. He said his main goal was to be able to take care of himself until he died because that should be everyone’s main goal of training. 

It was the Moon’s great fortune to have George on the floor. His tenacity, grace and elegance impressed us all; he was completely intentional. He was in many ways, our guiding light, illuminating a path for a possible future if we so chose it for ourselves. From a Facebook post in October, 2009: “Yesterday I asked one of my fabulous, gorgeous, extremely fit 80+ year old students - who comes to train every day at the dojo, "what is the difference between you and your peers who simply sit or shuffle, waiting for the end?" He said, "it is very simple, they think only about the past. I think only about now." 

George moved back to California to take care of his former wife as she died. He’d be well into his 90’s now and I trust if he is still alive, he is taking very good care of himself. 

2009 was robust for the Moon’s evolution and for our overall training. We continued to host CXX, CB, Gaspar and of course CXW. 2009 is when our community of training pals was really growing and bonding. We travelled around the country for any Chen Xiao Wang workshop we could get ourselves to but also to see our friends. CXW always came in the fall in time for the birthdays of Betty Dong, Allison Helm and me, so for years were all together, attending workshops in San Francisco, San Diego and Phoenix. Betty Dong and I also began attending seminars in Florida together, hosted by James Cravens. In 2009 we were to meet “The Tennessee Boys.” Earl Morgan and Joe Rea Phillips are two brothers who remain good friends to this day. 

2009 is also the year where one of the few renown female Chens, Chen Gui Zhen, aka, the “Queen of Double Swords,” slept on my couch and taught me her double sword in the park across from my house. It’s a story in and of itself, but suffice to say it begins with CXW asking me after dinner, “how long does it take to get to the train station?”

George, Chen Gui Zhen, San Diego, Seattle, Tennessee

Chen Bing, 2008

The accelerator was pushing down hard at the Moon by the time 2008 rolled around. Embrace The Moon had a full class schedule consisting of Luohan, Soaring Crane & Essence Qigong, Yang and Chen Style Taijiquan. We had several renters too and after five hard slogging years of building up the school, I was actually starting to make a little money. The student population was stabilizing, and people were starting to have some longevity. We had one more fund raiser, “The Great Stand-Off,” that allowed us to pay off all the charge cards from opening the studio in 2003, a goal I had before I would sign another 5-year lease. 

The Great Stand-Off remains famous in Moon lore. A couple years prior during Chen Xiao Wang’s visit, Derryl & I stood for 3 hours while Grandmaster was giving his private lessons. Yes, you heard me right, three hours. CXW would teach his student, come over and correct Derryl and I, go back to teaching his student, which also included a lot of holding posture for that student. It went on like this through his three private lessons. 

And so, when it came time for a fund raiser, a dozen adults and three kids, aged 6-8, committed to three hours of Standing Meditation, (children for one). Each competitor received a pledge card they took around to other students in the school as well to their wider community, gathering pledges if they completed their challenge. We gathered on a cool Saturday morning at Salmon Bay Park in Ballard and began. Trepidation and determination were in the air! Everyone succeeded! The adults were amazing, but the real heroes were those kids who stood still for their entire hour. I should add the adults got a 5-minute break every hour, but then the last hour I added 15 minutes, making for a 75-minute standing! We raised $10,000, paid off the remaining $7500 debt and started a rainy-day fund. 

2008 was also the year ten or so students stood for certification in the 18-Luohan with Dr. Garcia. It was a brutal exam for them, over one hundred written questions on top of their demonstration. Dr. Garcia and I sat as examiners. It was old school all the way and not everyone passed. That fact was very difficult for me since these were my students and they all worked very, very hard over the two-year teacher training program, but Dr. Garcia’s standards were very high. Each student, save for one, tried again the next year and passed. Several of those certified that day continue to teach locally and around the country.

Along with our ongoing hosting of CXW and Dr. Garcia and now CXX, 2008 is also the year we brought Chen Bing to Seattle for the first time. Though I have not studied directly with him for many years, Chen Bing remains very dear to me. He trained my students and me hard in the weapons curricula of the Chen Family and we had a great deal of fun. This workshop seeded several enjoyable years with him in my and my school’s life, including a week two years from now we would spend at his school in Chenjiagou. This first workshop was also famous in Moon lore. We had a huge turn-out, Chen Bing had just begun to emerge on the international scene, and everyone wanted to see the “younger Chen.” In fact, a person came to challenge him. 

Back when we first started hosting CXW, Allison Helm warned me that there would be people who would come to challenge the great masters. I had not seen this yet, but when a particular person with a reputation for being arrogant signed up for the workshop, I knew this was going to be my time to deal with this. I contacted this person and investigated his intention. I warned him to be respectful or I would kick him out. 

The workshop was packed. It was a hot day and all the doors were open. The breeze blew across the dojo floor as Chen Bing taught a basic Tui Shou class (Push Hands). He was migrating around the floor helping people when everything became very still. I excused myself from my partner to see Chen Bing working with this person. Luckily, I had also warned Chen Bing about him, and that I did not trust his intent. Within about 3 minutes there was a loud “thwap.” Chen Bing had thrown this person down hard on that pecan floor. Still stunned by the experience, he slinked out of the dojo. Later that evening Chen Bing and I sat at the dinner table. He said, “I couldn’t figure out why he kept trying to attack me, then I remembered what you told me, and I decided to take care of it.” 

The remainder of the workshop went beautifully. Chen Bing performed what will remain to this day one of the most gorgeous sword demonstrations I have ever seen anyone perform. The school was packed for it, those doors were wide open with the spring breeze wafting through. Chen Bing loved music and he had chosen a very ethereal piece to accompany his demonstration. I have looked for videos and photos of that demonstration, but there are none to be found. I must have been so captivated I didn’t bother.

Chen Bing was also fund raising during his tour for the devastating earthquake in Sichuan the month prior. We had a friendly competition with San Diego. Unfortunately for them, they hosted right before us, so we knew how much they raised! I threw in an extra dollar and won it. Don’t ever believe Tai Chi people are not competitive! 

It was quite a workshop! And what I may remember the most about it, is Chen Bing and I sitting in my home, then a place that looked over Lake Union from Queen Anne Hill. The full moon rose over the lake. Chen Bing and I sat there for a long while in silence, just watching. After a while he said in his soft elegant voice, “Embrace The Moon.” 

(As a side note, 2008 was also a time I had a chance to hear His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Reverend Desmond Tutu at a program I was a part of, Eric Liu’s “The Guiding Lights.” Also - Dave Mathews sat and had a chat with the Dalai Lama. Of-course the event was completely sold out but as a presenter I was able to have good access. Being in the presence of the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu was as profound as you would suspect. And I’ll never forget Dave Mathews fall apart talking with the His Holiness and His Holiness just laughing through it in his endearing way.) 

From Upper left, clockwise: Chen Bing seminar, CXW, The Great Stand-off, Chen Bing with Pig at Pike Place Market, CXX getting ready for his float plane trip, Dr. Garcia and passed students.

Luhačovice, 2007

It would not be long before we disciples would learn about flexibility when it came to our roles as Chen Family members. Our lives would be ticking right along in our daily rhythms when the call would come. “Hallo?” This is Chen Xiao Wang. Of course, this was a thrill! We chatted about our lives, catching up on the status of our families and schools and weather in our towns as you would with any relative. He spoke enough English that even with a thick accent we could get the gist. It was friendly and lively. And inevitably the seeds of the next adventure would be planted. 

In August of 2007 Chen Xiao Wang called all his disciples and more to travel to the Czech Republic. He had arranged a Duan Wei exam (ranking) with the Chief Wu Shu (martial arts) examiner of the International Wu Shu Federation in China and an accompanying seminar. It is common knowledge that Chen Xiao Wang got out of China and immigrated to Australia in the 80’s. Though he had travelled the world teaching Taijiquan and become famous, none of his students had yet tested for rank within the WuShu Federation. We were to learn upon arriving that this event was the first. 

Before we were to learn all this, we made our plans and quickly. The event was in November. My joints and immune system were still suffering but I got the go-a-head from my doctors as long as I was careful. We Americans met in Prague for a wonderful bit of site-seeing (Allison! That Monastery Beer!) It was November and the city void of tourists. It was magical. We then jumped on a train and traveled through the compelling country whose wide vistas were dotted with farms and communist era architecture. We arrived in a couple of hours into a therapeutic spa town, Luhačovice. If memory serves, around 100 students from all over the world travelled in. We overran that lovely town. I suspect the locals and other holiday makers had no idea what just happened to their quiet village. 

We were excited to be there though the stress of the event was much more than the disciple ceremony! We were all there to prove ourselves. Not to each other really, but to the Committee, for our teacher. It was his chance to show them and by association, show China, the quality he had been developing over the past 20 years of spreading his family’s art. We were to take a written exam then demonstrate our empty hand form and a weapons form. 

For 2 days we sat in translated lectures about the history of Chinese Martial Arts. We furiously took notes. In between Chen Xiao Wang taught Six Healing Sounds Qigong which didn’t have much external movement; the best exercise we got was walking the beautiful street between the stadium and our hotels. So, between travelling, jet lag and the stress we were all fairly ramped up by the time we sat for the written test. It must have been translated into all the languages there – I’m not recalling that detail. Somehow, we passed and then it was on to the demonstration. 

We had also been practicing for this in between lectures and classes. We scattered ourselves all over the gym, mentally sequestering and emotionally steeling ourselves for the impending demonstration of skill. We jammed ourselves into the tight hallways of our hotels in the early mornings and late evenings. There were only a few weapons available that our host, Vit, had brought in from his school so we passed them around, getting the best size we could. 

When it came time for the exam, we all lined up outside the small test room. It was hot and sweaty with anxiety and anticipation. As our turn came, we entered in threes. Depending on who was demonstrating we also crammed in to watch. That small room was stuffed full of people wanting to see Jan Silbertorff. As our turn came, we stood staggered in front of the Examining Board, consisting of Chen Xiao Wang, the Chief Examiner, our host Vit, and several other high-ranking officials from the Wu Shu Committee. We saluted, stepped left, raised and lowered our arms. 

It was over fast. In fact, we didn’t spend much more than three minutes, if that, showing our forms. Later that day, or the next, we got the results of our test, which ranged from third Duan to 6th. I remember a couple of days before the test Chen Xiao Wang asking us what we wanted to test for. We said 3rd. He said, “why don’t you try for 5th.” Indeed, everyone in our American group was awarded 5th. Jan Silberstorff was the only person awarded a well-deserved 6th. (In the ranking system, 6th - out of 9 - is the highest you can test for. From then on higher rank awards are based on your contributions to the art). 

The rest of the workshop was fun. Chen Xiao Wang taught the Erlu (Pao Chui). All the stomping, fajin practice and excruciating form correction was just what we all needed. After the workshop we had another day in Prague before returning to the states. From then on, Grandmaster’s relationship with the Wu Shu Federation and China grew and flourished. Chen Xiao Wang now lives back in China. 

This workshop seeded another turning point that would also evolve and flourish: we met David Gaffney & Davidine Sim. 

Collage of the Event. Thanks a lot to Allison Helm for most of these pictures.

De-stressing in Prague with our Rick Steves guide, Sharka.

Chen Xiao Xing, 2007

The day after the NY Times article came out in 2007, the Seattle PI phoned. Brad Wong wanted to pick up on the Time's buzz and write a local article too. I told him he had perfect timing! World Tai Chi Day was in two weeks and in just a few days I would be hosting a big international workshop with a famous teacher from China. Brad said he’d like to arrange a photoshoot with this teacher and our school for the article. It was indeed perfect timing! Except for the fact I couldn’t bend my knees. 

I was trying to get off the prednisone because it was making me crazy. However, with each dosage decrease my symptoms increased. I said to my doctor, “I’m hosting a famous Grandmaster from China, the Seattle PI is coming out for a photo shoot, what can I do?” He simply said, “increase your prednisone, a lot. You’ll be fine for the short term.” 

A couple days later, Chen Xiao Xing arrived in Seattle. It would be years before I would realize the impact this moment was to have on my life and the life of my students. It would be many seminars hence before I fully came to understand his influence on the overall quality of my Taijiquan and my capacity to teach it. All I knew right then is this is the man who scared me at the disciple ceremony, and I would not be able to participate in the workshop I was hosting, much less prove my worth to learn from him. I increased the dose as a last-ditch effort. 

Everything went wrong. It was not just CXX’s first trip to Seattle, it was only his 2nd trip outside of China. For those of you who know him, know he really doesn’t like to travel and back then his distaste for it was much more evident. And who could blame him! He didn’t speak English. I didn’t speak Chinese. It was a long trip from the Village. He had been to San Diego already but was still suffering jetlag. Mark Wasson, a long time student of his flew in from California to help me. We had them set up in a local hotel. Mark was going to take care of him, his food and such.

When I checked on them after they settled in the hotel, it was very evident there was a gas leak. We moved them immediately into another hotel. The next day, Mark left unexpectedly. We could not leave CXX alone in a hotel, so Kevin & I moved him into our home. The only place we had for him to sleep was our basement room that was being used as a storage room. It was a mess. There was a bed, but it was piled high with seasonal clothes. The carpet was stained and smelled like mildew from a water leak. The only bathroom was simply a toilet and a sink. I had no idea what to cook for him. It was a disaster. 

Before the seminar began the P/I came for the Photo Shoot. The prednisone had kicked in and I did fairly well for it. As the weekend progressed, however I became exhausted and weak. I ended up sitting in a chair for much of that first workshop, with blown up knees. Here I was with one of the greatest martial artists and teachers in the world in my home and my school, and as my mother would say, it was going from bad to worse to terrible.

Yet I will never forget how kind Chen Xiao Xing was to me. He taught me from that chair and gave my students a fantastic first experience of what real Village Training was like. Somehow despite the obstacles of this weekend, we found our affinity. Over the next few years we would develop our groove and become what we together became.

The Seattle P/I Article

My unsung hero of this week was Shiuwen Tai. Shiuwen and I had known each other since she moved to Seattle a few years before. I loved her tea and she had taken a little Tai Chi from me. When I told her what was happening, Shiuwen dropped everything she was doing and translated every day for us. She helped CXX & I to cross the language bridge and because of Shiuwen, CXX and begin to get to know each other. She even cooked for him. And by the way, she was 2 months pregnant! Shiuwen remained our translator over the next decade of workshops in Seattle. Thanks to her, CXX and I have a rich old school-teacher student relationship and we have an enormously affectionate and playful one as well. Shiuwen studies Taijiquan diligently. She and I remain the dearest of friends and colleagues. 

To this day my health issues during this time remain a mystery. Western medicine leaned on the idea it was some weird menopausal reaction, Eastern say is might have been stored pathogens gone awry from an episode of strep I contracted a couple weeks before my first knee swelling. Either way it had a profound impact on my health. I remained exhausted for much of the year and lost a great deal of muscular strength affecting my muscle tendon tenacity and structural balance.

I taught from a chair for much of the next several months and gently practiced forms as best I could. I had to be very careful to not damage my joints, especially my knees as they continued to be assaulted, although less severely and less frequently. It was to take two years before I could fully bend my knees again and another five to get my immune system straightened out and my overall body as strong as I wanted it to be. I kept at my practices, acupuncture and personal training with the amazing Joe Deshaw. I will always be grateful to the students who stayed with me during this time and especially to those who joined, seeing something more than an infirmed teacher coaching from a chair. 

CXX & I at the cheezy photo set at the Space Needle. You can see how puffy I was from the prednisone.

The New York Times, 2007

One night in late February of 2007 I woke up in excruciating pain. I shot my left leg straight up from the covers; it was ramrod straight. I tried to bend it at my knee, but the pain and rigidity were so bad I could not. I rubbed at rubbed but nothing abated the searing sensations. I was so confused and someone terrified. I also had to use the bathroom. I rolled out of bed, used the walls for support and hobbled to the toilet. I sat down with my leg still rigid, returning to bed the same way. After about an hour the pain subsided, but I still could not bend my knee. It had blown up to the width of my thigh. In fact, there was no longer a distinction between my thigh and my knee. 

 Over the next few days various joints randomly blew up throughout my body like this. The pattern was always the same: excruciating pain, ramrod rigidity, blown up like a water balloon. Wrists, ankles and sometimes both knees at once would be attacked. For several days I could not bend either knee. I could not even walk, resorting to crab crawling backwards throughout the house to reach the kitchen, toilet or bed. My doctor had no idea what was going on. I writhed in pain after he tried to forcibly bend my knee. I fired him. Joyce Broderson’s husband was a teacher in the school of Medicine at the University of Washington and he sent me straight over to their Rheumatology department. 

I was their lab rat. They also had no idea what was happening. (At least they didn’t force my knee!) I was tested for Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupis, food allergies and other more obscure autoimmune conditions. Everything came back negative. They put me on prednisone and did more tests. This went on for well over a month. I couldn’t walk much less drive. I certainly couldn’t teach. Somehow my classes kept going with my senior students taking the reins. My number one at the time, Karin Collins, went out of her way to keep the Moon afloat. 

I slept when I could, but the prednisone also had me ramped up. I could tell my immune system was crashing. I looked like hell. Puffy from the prednisone, ashen from the assault. Blue bags under my eyes from depression. I was fairly certain this was it for me, I’d have to find another career because I certainly couldn’t move. The Moon’s five-year lease was up in a year and I was convinced I’d need to let it all go, just went it was getting going.  And then the phone rang. It was the New York Times.

To this day I have no idea how they got my name. Somebody knew somebody who knew somebody else who told Nora Isaacs, “There is this school in Seattle Washington, you should check them out for your article on Qigong.” Nora and I hit it off and chatted for about an hour about Qigong. I’ll never forget sitting on a chair with my ramrod leg stuck up on the kitchen table while I talked about the health benefits of Qigong. 

The photography team from the NY Times was scheduled to be in my dojo a few days later. I had no idea how I was going to pull it off in the state I was in. Talking on the phone about Qigong is one thing, not being able to move while the photographers from the one of the most famous newspapers in the word shot pictures of Qigong was quite another. Even so I decided the Luohan was the form to present, given its dynamic beauty, profound history and strong floor charisma.  Dozens of Luohan students answered my call for help. They rocked the floor as the photographers snapped on. Robert Meserve, to this day one of most beautiful Luohan students I’ve even had the pleasure to teach, held the floor with his strong presence while everyone breathed in and breathed out in unison. 

Two weeks later the article hit the stands. 

Family, 2005-2006

In 2005 when CXW ask us to become his disciple I said, “but we don’t even really know your Taiji yet, how can we become your disciple?” He said, “because I trust your respect.” Derryl Willis and I looked at each other for a long moment and then picked our jaws up off the ground. I said, “who else are you asking?” (I have a bold way like that! LOL) Over the next few months, Bill & Allison Helm, Betty Dong & Chris Forde, James Cravens, C.P. One, Jim & Angie Criscimagna from the United States and 18 others from the UK, Poland, Switzerland and Germany prepared mentally and as best we could, physically to become Grandmaster’s first international and first non-Chinese group of disciples. (We were not the first Westerners, Jan Silberstorff had that singular honor, already having been studying with CXW for several years, becoming his disciple in 1995, though he was to be with our group that next March, 2006.)

There is no easy way of getting to Chenjiagou even today, but in 2006 there was not even a direct flight from Seattle to Beijing. Derryl and I embarked upon a 2-day journey to the Chen Village. Almost 28 hours of flights and layovers and 16 hours of time change, we met the others from the US in Zheng Zhou and checked in to the Sofitel. The next day we met others from around the world who had similarly journeyed in and got on a buses to Wen Xian. We stayed in Wen Xian that week because there was only one dorm in the Village and it was in very bad repair. In fact, the Village most of you reading this know was still many, many years in the future. At that time there was no consistent, if any, hot water. The toilets, well, the toilets… 

But Wen Xian was nice! As a bustling small town of 400,000 it was fine for our needs. Every day we took small buses into Chenjiagou. The roads were muddy and potholed. It took 45 minutes or so. By compare that trip now is a breeze; we travel by small electric buses on fast well paved highways. It takes around 15 minutes. 

Preparing for the disciple ceremony was a terrifying experience! It was the first time most of us encountered Chen Xiao Xing and it was the first time he encountered us. It was CXX who taught us how to bow, and as you might suspect, he taught us old school. We must have appeared so unruly to him as we practiced our flawed technique over and over again. CXW saw how stressed out we were, repeatedly kneeling down and banging our heads on the carpet of the dining hall where we rehearsed. (That carpet!) He stopped us all and said, “if you forget the technique, remember the feeling.” I’ll never forget how he met our nauseating stress of this impending time, with such graciousness. And then we continued to practice under CXX’s strict guidance. 

The ceremony itself was a huge media event. Press and dignitaries came from all over. We all crammed shoulder to shoulder into the Temple. It was hot and stuffy. A Pig’s head and bowls of fruit were formally laid out while statues of Chen Wang Ting, Chen Ruxin and Chen Soule looked on. Incense wafted in every corner. Chen Xiao Wang sat in a decorated red wood chair to the side of the altar with 27 disciple books next to him. We approached one by one, kneeled down, bowed. He gave us the red book. We bowed, and one more time, bowed, got up and walked back to our place. I will never forget looking directly in Chen Xiao Wang’s eyes during that exchange. I was looking not just at him but back into hundreds of years of history. Now I was part of that line, this family. Since that time CXW has grown his Taiji family a thousand-fold. Now, hundreds bow at a time. Others in the family also have taken many disciples and Chen Family Taijiquan has spread throughout the world. Yet, it will always be a profound honor to have been one of 27 in that first group. 

After this time my resolve to never return to China began to weaken. Since I have been back 10 +/- times. Each time the Village changes in unrecognizable ways, but my home school and that time remain at the root of my experience. This will never change. The people I know, the training I’ve had, the training my students and community have had, all the deep relationships I continue to have, stemmed from that moment and are woven deeply into my body and heart. No matter what happens there in the future, this will never change. 

Now, of course, I long to return and daily tend to the fear I may not be able to for some time to come.

Grinding It Out, 2004-2005

2004-2005 was a period of continuing to grind out my training with my new teachers and exploring teaching, curriculum and business approaches. I still wasn't drawing any money so I had nothing to lose financially by experimenting. The toxic fumes from the floor seal had finally dissipated and students were coming to see what we had to offer. 

I was still travelling to Spain and Gaspar travelling to Seattle. In 2004 I earned my formal teaching certificate. The demonstration part of my form was in a local park where I went through my 18 Luohan with tourists and locals watching. It was Spring in Marbella. I remember the blue Wisteria and the scent of orange blossoms surrounding my efforts. I remember the onlookers stopping to watch. I remember Sifu Garcia furiously writing pages and pages of notes. I thought for sure I had failed, recalling the first time I demo-ed in front of him, him telling me I had no idea what I was doing. With all that going on, I just kept on moving. After we moved to a coffee house for my orals. I knew I nailed that part, but then my final question came, "What is Nirvana?" Something still a bit mysterious to me happened and without hesitation I said, "that place suspended between yin and yang, that place between the in breath and the out breath. The place where we are not caught in duality." 

I passed my exam. I still have and continue to work on those copious notes of form corrections he gave me from the park exam. 

Later in 2004 I was introduced to the magnificent community of women martial artists. After years of “friendly pressure,” I succumbed to Jan Parker's nudging to apply to teach at PAWMA. I was accepted. It was a profoundly beautiful and powerful experience and I met amazing and accomplished women martial artists from the US and Canada and I believe that year Israel & New Zealand too. I also met Debbie Leung. She and Jan remain friends and colleagues to this day. For years Debbie, Jan and I wrote a column for the PAWMA newsletter, "Sifu/Sensei Dantien. It was fun working with those two and we addressed serious issues especially around gender and power inequities in the Martial Arts. 

I also met Karri Meleo and her daughter Cassie in my Luohan class. They convinced me I should teach young people and it was because of them I had enough guts to grow a children and youth program at the Moon that went on for many years. I should add Cassie Gill was never in that class, she, at age 8, went right to the adult classes. She was a Luohan practitioner for years and participated in several of Dr. Garcia's workshops. Her mother did too; Karri became a certified instructor several years ago and is very active teaching the Luohan along with her other martial arts at her dojo Quantum. Of course she continues to train with the Moon. I don't know if they remember but Karri and her husband David were very generous supporters of the Moon during one of our fund raisers. 

The Moon was becoming a national hub for Luohan due to Gaspar's teaching. His workshops were packed with locals but also with people from all over the country. Sweat dripped from the pipes above that floor and steamed the windows while we bonded through this powerful form. However at this time because I was changing my style of Chen Taijiquan from the Hun Yuan style of Feng/Gao Fu to the style of Chen Xiao Wang, I was not teaching any Chen. I didn't dare, but I began travelling to whatever workshop CXW was teaching. We continued to host him at Lake Crescent because we could more easily do a 5 day than we could at the Moon.

The alternative/complementary health care movement was finally taking root in Seattle. I suppose since I am an average midwesterner who could talk about Qi without using the word Qi, I was in demand! (LOL) The grant I had worked on for a couple years with Group Health and the NIH studying Tai Chi and Back Pain: Tai Chi, Massage & Mindful Meditation for Low Back Pain, Group Health & the National Institute of Health (NIH) concluded to mediocre results (because it was paired with Mindful Meditation and Massage and well, everyone wanted massage!) but it was still one of the early East meets West efforts to prove Tai Chi had something going on the Medical community could get their chops in and I was very happy to be a part of it, and several that followed from this start. 

A couple of books citing my work over the years with people who had special health concerns had been published in late 2003, Schmidt S. & Ivy, K., “Alternative & Complementary Medicine” in Back Pain, A Guide for the Primary Care Physician, Andrew J. Haig, MD & Miles Colwell, MD
“Tai Chi & Qigong for Chronic Pain” in Group Wellness Programs for Chronic Pain & Disease Management by Carolyn McManus PT MA MS. Because of all this, the media got a hold of the Moon and would keep a hold of us for a few years, showing up here and there in various articles and publications. Among the early ones I remember was a fun TV show Jean Enerson of King 5 hosted called, "55 Ways to Stay Young." 

The Moon also become a place I could have a party! We had a great 10-year anniversary party in 2005. I found a book made from my students’ writings. It was fun to leaf through it and remember all those people, some of whom are still with the Moon! This poem from Paul & Ruth Lewing, stood out: 

There once was a teacher named Kim
Who thought, “I’ll go out on a limb.
I’ll build a new dojo 
And load it with mojo. 
It’ll help these guys more than a gym.”

Although I’m her number one fan,
And I’ve tried it again and again,
I never got more 
Than just about four
Of a possible eighteen Luohan.

In the view of this boy from Montana
Kim is great – a real top banana.
Soon I’ll rejoice the throng
In her class on Chi Gong
And try once again for Nirvana. 

The Moon on Market Street, 2003

Once I saw what I was getting into with Gaspar Garcia and Chen Xiao Wang I knew my lifestyle was not sustainable for where I wanted to go. I was living on Whidbey Island and the commute was getting worse and worse. Additionally, my rent at The Moving Space was going to go up considerably. My school was growing, and I wanted to teach more and expand the Moon's offerings to include children's programs, teacher training programs, Luohan Qigong and now Chen Taijiquan. 

So, in 2003, in one fell swoop I decided to incorporate my business, sell my house on Whidbey Island, move back into Seattle and open a dedicated school. It was a bold choice, but I was driven with a singular intention.  I had also decided to stay in Seattle.

My house sold overnight, and in a month, I was back in Seattle, living in an apartment in Belltown and shopping for space. Fairly quickly my realtor found the space that would, for the next 15 years, be the home of Embrace The Moon. There was a catch, however. There was a lot of work to be done; the landlord's condition for the then cheap rent was that he would do no improvements. I said, fine. It was the right space, the right location (only 4 blocks from where I had been). I'll do it. 

Having sold my house I had money in the bank. However, no one would give me a loan to fund the improvements because I had no house to serve as collateral! I was finally able to procure an SBA loan - for 16% interest. I said forget it. I instead funded the endeavor with a combination of cash from my house sale and several low interest charge cards. Interest on cards at that time was around 2%. All in all, it cost $70,000 to renovate that place. I'm sure few people have any idea it was that much. 

It took 5 years to pay it off. I gave myself no salary for 3 and lived off my house sale proceeds, spending them down to almost zero. For the naysayers that say Tai Chi has turned into a commercial money making endeavor, I challenge them to do what I did! It was absolutely worth it. 

The design came to me in a dream. Open, spacious, plenty of room for practice and for social bonding. It was simple and elegant with calligraphy I had collected through the years, including from my trip to Chengdu. Everyone loved that floor - a hardwood reclaimed pecan floor. People came from all over town to just see that floor.  I choose hardwood because in CXW's first workshop at the other location, he broke a plank on the soft floor doing Buddha's Attendant! That floor itself was quite expensive but it was my priority. I learned in one fell fajin that you can't have a Tai Chi/Qigong school without a good floor. 

Unfortunately, the finish the installers put on was extremely toxic. They told me it was the lowest available finish and the odor would off-gas in 3 days. It took 6 months - with commercial air filters and fans running for much of that time during the time the school was closed. I had left the Moving Space with 80 students, but many of them were unable to take classes because it was so bad. Any hope I had for building the school up on the buzz of its opening collapsed. Classes were sparsely populated; I think 50 students all total over all the classes offered for the first few months. I had piercing headaches all the time. I had no salary. I had a five-year lease. 

I also had a lot of help and support in pushing my vision into the world. A long time student was instrumental in helping this Moon’s beginning and worked along side me day and night. She and Andrew Walker sat with me for hours and days and weeks visioning and implementing. In the early days even when people could not come for classes, they still came by, offering me moral support. Andy Walker and Joyce Broderson helped me with the initial fundraiser, which gave the Moon enough money to keep going. Mark McCormack worked for years on computer set ups getting us into the electronic communication age in ways we needed to be.  Christy Fischer was our first big renter getting her own Yoga school going. Karin and Derryl taught along with me during those first couple of years, together we built the initial student base. Several students continued through the years to stay with me from the first days of the Moon to now; the aforementioned and also  Megan Cornish, Miriam Effron (RIP), Lynette Woerne. Their love & support kept me steady and hopeful. 

Sam Masich and Gaspar Garcia offered the initial workshops, which also helped to build the scene. I remember in Sam's workshop, on the Moon's opening weekend, I was so utterly exhausted I nodded off during one of his demonstrations. Those of you that know Sam, know how exhausted I must have been to do that! I began dating Kevin Fetherston, who kept me having fun during this extremely stressful time and also lent his shoulder to the wheel of the Moon. 

Among all the calligraphy, there was one very special one. I actually designed the back wall to accommodate it. It was made specifically for the Moon by Grandmaster Chen Xiao Wang. He even paid to have it shipped from China for the School’s opening. He said on the phone to my surprise, “I have something for you, ‘To make your dojo strong.’” A month later, it arrived. 

As tenuous as those beginning months felt, they were strong and intentional. Despite financial hardships, toxic floor finishes and ambiguous days of wondering if anyone would show up, Embrace the Moon School took root and began to become the place in Seattle I had envisioned it might be. It did over the years, as Chen Xiao Wang prophesized, become strong. 

Enter Lisa & Larry Spangler and their son Eli. Eli stayed for several years. Lisa & Larry continue to this day and are strong students and supporters of the Moon. Larry is a certified Luohan teacher and teaches Luohan and Yang Taijiquan around Seattle. Lisa is in the home stretch of the Luohan training program.

Chen Xiao Wang, 2002

One week before I met Gaspar I attended at workshop at Brietenbush Hotsprings. Brietenbush had contacted me earlier that year to be the workshop’s Qigong breakout teacher. The presenters usually offered Yoga but this year decided to try Qigong. For many years prior I had presented at Brietenbush so they asked me. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I was at a very low period of my life, in mediocre health, emotionally dejected and without direction. I almost didn’t except. One of my students looked at me and said, “why in the world would you refuse this?” It was the kick in the rump I needed. I accepted. The workshop was Ram Dass and Krishnas Das. 

It was a weekend I recall to this day as the Tao clearing the way for me, opening my closed emotions and body for what was to come. To prepare me to let go and be open. I of course didn’t realize what was ahead for me, I just recall the feelings in that extraordinary workshop with these extraordinary people. I wrote about it here: Fierce Grace.

Two weeks after meeting Gaspar Garcia I flew down to San Francisco with Derryl Willis. Derryl and I had known each other for many years, training together with Andrew Dale and Madame Gao Fu. He had said to me a couple times, “you should come to this workshop with me sometime. I’ve been going for a couple years and I think you will like this teacher.” This summer, when I was rolling the dice with my destiny, when I had nothing to loose, was that time. We got on a plane. We rented a car and drove to the workshop. This teacher was Chen Xiao Wang. 

I had no idea what I was getting into. From the beginning Chen Xiao Wang walked right over to me and pulled me up out of my low athletic stance (with my butt sticking out) and corrected my posture. I dropped right back down. He pulled me right back up and adjusted my hips. My legs hurt even more. I dropped back down to where it was more comfortable to my legs and more familiar to my ego. He pulled me up. My legs burned hot. This dance went on through the entire workshop. 

Finally, I gave in and realized, as I had with Gaspar, that I had no idea what I was doing. Everything that had come before me was, in an instant, dissolved. It was not that I had not been taught well, I of course had been by some of the most extraordinary teachers from the beginning of my training. I had grasped well and developed well what had come before. But I had not, nor could have, grasped what was to come, what these arts had yet to reveal to me. Not only did I meet Chen Xiao Wang that weekend, I also met others who had already been studying and training with CXW for a few years, most notably Bill & Allison Helm and Betty Dong. I began to see a much bigger picture ahead for me. I was at once terrified and deeply compelled by where I knew I had to go next. I knew I had to start over. 

After the workshop I asked the host, Mark Wasson, to introduce me to Chen Xiao Wang. I was nervous but bold. I walked right up to CXW. We shook hands. I invited him to Seattle. He said, “are you a teacher?” “Yes.” “Full time or part time?” “Full.” “What do you teach?” “Yang Style, Qigong, and a little Chen Style.” “How many students to you have?” “80.” He looked at me for a long second and said, “I’ve always wanted to come to Seattle.” 

I expected to be put in the cue for many years down the road. One week later I received a call at 3:00 am, PDT. CXW was calling from the East Coast. "Hallo? Kim?" Yes? "This is Chen Xiao Wang." I sat straight up, heart racing. He had an opening in 3 weeks before he left the states and could come out. I said, “Of course but I don’t know if I can pull a workshop together that will be enough students.” He said, and I will never forget this, “I can teach six or sixty, it doesn’t matter.” I said, “ok, we’d love to have you. Let me know your plane flights.”

I called Derryl a couple hours later. He said, “let’s do this.” Over the next week, we called everyone we knew from the US and Canada (remember this was before all the electronic communication methods). I called Allison Helm, and said, “how do I do this?” She coached me every step of the way. A best friendship was born. Derryl & I put together a weekend workshop of 45 people in 3 weeks. CXW worked with Derryl and I privately for hours. It was an extraordinary initiation. 

I have scoured my photos and cannot find any from this first workshop, but someday I hope to. There is one in particular I would love to find: CXW chasing ducks along the beach at Golden Gardens. Instead I have these photos from the first two 5-day workshops at Lake Crescent, the 2 years after. I do though have a piece I wrote from CXW’s first visit: Calm Down.

In two weeks, my life dramatically changed from that of a woman on the precipice of despair to the one I am now. Those two weeks pivoted my direction, shifted my foundation and gave me extraordinary training and friendships with people all over the world with whom I am deeply bonded. The rest of the stories that will unfold for Kim Ivy & Embrace The Moon are those those that emerged from this potent time. 

Enter Bill & Allison Helm, Betty Dong who remain my best friends & colleagues to this day.

Feng Zi Qiang, 2001

In August of 2001 Madame Gao Fu, Harrison Moretz, Andy Dale and I brought our schools together to host the Great Feng Zi Qiang in Seattle for a long weekend seminar, demonstrations, and party, including an evening dinner and cruise around the Sound on the Argosy. Bringing Feng, his daughter, and top student to Seattle then was no small feat dealing with both governments and all the perfect ceremonial issues involved. I have to say, we rocked it. 

The group photos are hard copies and not too good any more, but if you look closely you will see many people who made a great deal of effort to make this historic event happen and to be here, including Ken Cohen who drove from Colorado where he was living at the time. Sam Masich (with whom I also studied for several years), left his seminar in Vancouver to drive down and meet Feng for about an hour before driving back. 

What I really recall from those days is how unified our community was under Gao Fu. It's not that it isn't now. In fact, I feel Seattle is quite respectful of each other, but there was something transcendent then about how we, even with all our diverse schools and approaches, were all under the same Tai Chi "roof." 

For me this was a deeply personal moment. I had met Feng in 1991 before I even knew I would move to Seattle. He lit the fire of Chen Taijiquan for me. And now here I was, ten years later, one of the members of the hosting team. 

One can never get time back or the opportunities that arise within its parenthetical flow. And we all had no idea how dramatically our world would change just a few weeks from then with the 9/11 attack.

Gao Fu moved back to China 3 years later and passed away in 2005. Feng passed away in 2012. They both had tremendous influence across the world. I am so fortunate they were part of mine. 

The Great Feng Zi Qiang’s trip to Seattle, 2002

Chengdu, 2000

In the early 90's my mother worked at the Westin Hotel in Chicago. She made her way up from the front desk to the concierge for overseas visitors. One year an academic group from China came to Chicago for an exchange. It was their first trip out of China. They spoke no English and had no idea how to use a fork or eat the food. I'm not sure why the Westin was so unprepared but suffice to say this group was traumatized. My mother had been in one of the first groups to China after Nixon opened the country. She completely understood how traumatic it was for them. Suffice to say, as my mother would have, she went out of her way for them. 

There was one man in particular, the man in the photo left, with whom she became friends. He was a prominent scholar of Buddhism, Taoism & Confucianism. He lived and taught in Chengdu. They remained pen pals for many years after their trip. He always invited me to come due to my interest in China. He was getting a bit on in years, late 70's or so, when in 2000 my mother said, "you should go, he's getting old and you may not have this chance again." So, I did.

I had been in China for one month in 1991 but never back and really never thought I would go back. China in the early years of opening was a difficult place to travel. But this was quite an opportunity, to spend 2 weeks with a scholar such as him. 

I arrived to a spectacular 2 weeks. He had it set up that I met and studied with all kinds of fascinating teachers, monks and scholars. I travelled all over the region, a very rich part of China for Taoism & Buddhism. I visited many temples, including the temple of "Green Goat" where it is said LaoTzu stopped to write the Tao Te Ching before he disappeared into the mountains on his Buffalo.

I ate amazing food in Buddhist Temples and travelled the stunning landscape of the region. (Chengdu is the launch for Tibet). I learned so much. And of course was treated like a dignitary as the Chinese would have at that time. I even practiced Chen Tai Chi in a random park with a direct student of Feng Zi Qiang, quite a "coincidence." Unfortuantely I can't find that photo at the moment. 

There are many photos, but this one has always stood out for me. These soft men were Taoist Monks. The one to my right, in his 80's, could still run 100 miles across the mountains to the next Village. 

I've always been able to balance the pragmatic with the spiritual in my personal practice and my teaching career. This trip definitely allowed me to immerse myself in the spiritual. 

And by the way, after this trip, I thought I'd call it good and was sure I'd never return to China.......

Chengdu, 2000

Writing

Writing has always been a big part of my learning and teaching experience. This winter I decided to thoroughly purge the hidden corners of my house. In one I found a large box of notes from my training that harkened back 42 years, to when I started martial arts. My first teacher (Judo), the man of few words, said to me one day, "you might want to keep a few notes - after each practice, jot down what you remember." Being a good student, I of course did. 

That tip has really made a difference in my capacity to learn, remember and develop my abilities. It also helped me to gradually understand what I was feeling on the inside, both sensations and emotions and how the process of training was influencing my life. Over the decades I have gained a perspective that is at once an integration of all the lessons, the teachers, the students and colleagues fused with the course of my life. Dug into my 6th decade now, I am as grateful for the practice of writing as I am for my training. 

In rifling through the few boxes of history that remain from my winter purge I am not finding many photos from 1999-2002, but I am finding quite a bit of writing. Starting from early days teaching here in Seattle, before the online presence that all of us moved into, I published very beautiful newsletters 2-3x a year. They were professionally laid out and edited, typeset and printed old school, stamped and mailed out to my students. I remember they were around $1500 to produce, not a small amount for a budding Tai Chi /Qigong professional. It must have been important to me to do them. 

This piece from 1999 was a threshold for me, it was the moment I connected with my capacity to write about the internal experience in a way that was poignant and beautiful. It's fascinating to re-read it now, 21 years later, in the midst of the global reckoning we are experiencing: Montana

Madame Gao Fu, 1998

In 1998 I met Madame Gao Fu and began studying Chen Taijiquan. Gao Fu single handedly changed the Tai Chi landscape of Seattle. With rare exception every teacher here studied with her, and in turn our students. Chen Tai Chi took root in our town, which has become one of the US hubs of great Chen. 

Gao Fu was an amazingly generous and kind teacher but also very strict, especially with those of us who were teachers. We would barely step left, raise and lower our arms when she would say, "stop!" And correct us to the most minute detail. Everyone remembers how she put our hands on her own body to feel what was happening on the inside of the movements. It was a revolutionary teaching style - especially for a Chinese woman to have such hands on in this way. 

She did many workshops and classes, but I primarily studied privately and semi privately with her. I had met Feng Zi Qiang, her teacher, in 1991 in China and had a tape of that trip and meeting as well a couple of photos of then, so we really hit it off. Gao Fu was a revelation to me, a small powerful woman. She showed me who I might become, both as student and teacher, through Chen Taijiquan. 

There are years of wonderful memories of her and our training, but also with her socially. She had spunk and enjoyed having a good time. One of my favorites was of her carving her first pumpkin at my traditional pumpkin carving party, that year at my house on Whidbey Island, October 1998. 

By the way, if you are ever at Seward Park, there is a bench we all bought in her honor. It looks right at Mt. Ranier, between 2 cottonwood trees. 

I wrote this article in 2005 for Tai Chi Magazine for their tribute after her death: One Movement

Madame Gao Fu and me